Merry Death

Isn't she sassy? 

posted by Metalmeredith @ 12:19 PM 0 comments

Grammy's Birthday

I haven't posted in a while and Stacey will be downright annoyed if I don't update soon. Ugh.
We went to Phil's parents on Wednesday evening for dinner. It was his Mom's birthday, Grammy. Ihave no idea how old she is. None what so ever. Sad thing is, I don't think he does either.
We were told 2 weeks ago that we would be going to Mongolian Barbeque with everyone that night. The next week, we got a message from Phil's sister. It went just like this, "Hey, Mom thinks that we are going to Mongolian Barbeque, but we aren't. We are eating here. Be here at 6pm and bring something if you want to." Ok. Whatever.
Phil and I couldn't decide why we were eating at his sis's house instead of going out. Come to find out, Phil's mom had no idea either, she still thought we were going to the restaurant. Hmmm.
When we arrived (Phil's mom lives in a guest house behind Phil's Sister's house), Abby, Phil's neice, gave us a talking to for coming in the the wrong entrance and ruining the surprise. Surprise??? Ok, no one told us this was a surprise. And what was so surprisy about it? We were all going to eat anyway. "Surprise! We aren't going to a restaurant". Ok. sure.
This is a regular occurance with these people. We are told 6pm, arrive on time and no one else gets there until 7pm. We are told 5:30pm, we are late, they are already eating. Its hit or miss. I hate it. On the other hand, my mom will plan lunch 3 weeks out down to the very last detail. I am sure there is a happy medium somewhere.

posted by Metalmeredith @ 11:50 AM 2 comments

Big Lots

Is this place terrifying or what? Is it a gathering place for all weirdos?

I went to Big Lots on a recommendation from a few friends. "There are great deals on cleaning stuff" they said. No one explained to me that in order to get said great deals, one has to have a brush with the undead, watch small children run amok with no supervision, or deal with Tasha the Wonder Cashier.

I go inside only to find my tiny Big Lots cart and see what bargains I would find. I immediately get bombarded with the ugliest outdoor decorative crap; babies on rocking horses made of poly-stone, birdhouses made of resin but painted to look like old wood, birds that fake chirp when you walk by. Sweet, all 50% off. Then off to the food where I come across an old gentleman who could have been sitting in the waiting room in Beetlejuice. He was 175, pushing this seat, push cart thing and every so often would groan and sit down. I couldn't get to the foil because I was too afraid he would die on me.

The mexican children were screaming. There was one in the stroller, one in arms, 2 on the ground. The one in the stroller managed to flip herself backward onto the ground stroller and all. The two running around were yelling and pulling things off shelves. Of course, the baby was screeching.

Tasha the Wonder Cashier was talking with a few fellow employees when I arrived to check out my bundle of sandwich bags, garbage bags, and one package of cookies. It took her 3 minutes (no lie, I watched the clock) to walk her lazy ass over to the register. She said hello, I asked how her day was (as is appropriate in a CONVERSATION). Her answer "HMRUMPH", eye roll, heavy sigh. Um Tasha, get over it.

When I left I vowed to not go back.

posted by Metalmeredith @ 11:43 PM 1 comments

Tolls

I often travel toll roads here in VA. Since I have been back to work, I travel through 2 to get there and 2 to come home. I have an automatic toll payer thingy that attaches to the window of the car and lets you breeze through designated lanes. Its called Smart Tag.
Well, Maybe it was me or maybe Smart Tag isn't so smart.
I have always been afriad of those big bars slamming down on my car. I never threw change in and sped out "knowing" that the bar would raise. When SmartTag came to fruition, I had to take that leap of faith that the bar wouldn't come down because you are supposed to just pass through.
Many time I have been pumping my brakes when I see that little hinge on the bar turn, although the bar doesn't even come out. It freaks me out.
So there I was in rush hour traffic on Monday afternoon heading off to work. I get to the toll lanes, put up my SmartTag. The person ahead of me goes through, mine seems to work fine, I accelerate only to see the bar coming down. I did what any rational person would do. I floored it.
I smacked the bar, which to my relief is made of styrofoam. The thing cracks in half on top of my car, and flops out of my way. Of course, I am 100 yards from the toll now. I was panicing....do I go back? do I call and report that? What the hell does someone do?

I called Phil who at first got all freaked out like it was made of wood. When he finally figured out that neither the car nor I was hurt, he said "Nah, let them come to you".

So I wait. Toll Crasher. Bar Smasher.

posted by Metalmeredith @ 11:44 AM 0 comments