Merry Death

Big Lots

Is this place terrifying or what? Is it a gathering place for all weirdos?

I went to Big Lots on a recommendation from a few friends. "There are great deals on cleaning stuff" they said. No one explained to me that in order to get said great deals, one has to have a brush with the undead, watch small children run amok with no supervision, or deal with Tasha the Wonder Cashier.

I go inside only to find my tiny Big Lots cart and see what bargains I would find. I immediately get bombarded with the ugliest outdoor decorative crap; babies on rocking horses made of poly-stone, birdhouses made of resin but painted to look like old wood, birds that fake chirp when you walk by. Sweet, all 50% off. Then off to the food where I come across an old gentleman who could have been sitting in the waiting room in Beetlejuice. He was 175, pushing this seat, push cart thing and every so often would groan and sit down. I couldn't get to the foil because I was too afraid he would die on me.

The mexican children were screaming. There was one in the stroller, one in arms, 2 on the ground. The one in the stroller managed to flip herself backward onto the ground stroller and all. The two running around were yelling and pulling things off shelves. Of course, the baby was screeching.

Tasha the Wonder Cashier was talking with a few fellow employees when I arrived to check out my bundle of sandwich bags, garbage bags, and one package of cookies. It took her 3 minutes (no lie, I watched the clock) to walk her lazy ass over to the register. She said hello, I asked how her day was (as is appropriate in a CONVERSATION). Her answer "HMRUMPH", eye roll, heavy sigh. Um Tasha, get over it.

When I left I vowed to not go back.

posted by Metalmeredith @ 11:43 PM