Merry Death

Jokes to Share: Courtesy of Dad

These are so stupid they are funny.


1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and
get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the
reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar,
and one was a salted.

5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender
says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt
under his arm and says: "A beer for me please,
and one for the road."

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says
to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green
Grass of home. The doctor replies! , "That sounds
like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is that common?", asks
the man. Says the doc,"It's Not Unusual."

9. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated
this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.

11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard
this bull before.

12. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the
other day but I couldn't find any.

13. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious
accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel
my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't -
I've cut off your arms!"

14. I went to a seafood disco last week.....
and pulled a mussel.

15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly,
so they lit a fire in the craft. It sank, which proves
that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

17. Two termites walk into a bar.
One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

posted by Metalmeredith @ 11:17 PM